We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
