dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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