Me too!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize