R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
