That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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