He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize