i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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