I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh god it's open bar.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
