By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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