I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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