part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
