You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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