My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
