we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
