I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
