just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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