Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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