Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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