ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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