Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
