4 words: hood of his car
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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