Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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