If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
