What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
