good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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