We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
