Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize