Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
