my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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