Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
