So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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