I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Success! We fucked roommates!
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