Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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