It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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