I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
