Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
