Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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