his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
