there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
