I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
