I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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