I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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