Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Randomize
