I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
