Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
