Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you would pick up someone in the library
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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