yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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