he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle