were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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