He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize