i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
