so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
