I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
