lets start a swedish sibling band together
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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