I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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