Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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