wat bout pragnant strippers??
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
