My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
