P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
