Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
